True but thats because hes a fetus.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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