My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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