You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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