The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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