I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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