when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
