If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
