I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
