i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize