she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
