Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I believe in your delicious
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
