You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
