Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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