Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
