D3 body, D1 cock
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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