I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm just crazy horny about you
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
