My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
