P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
