think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
only if we run a train.
done.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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