i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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