Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
