"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
