I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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