$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
