garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
