You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
