yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
