Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
