Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
