you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize