I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
