she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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