remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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