you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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