I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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