I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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