i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
