I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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