Girls should come with a carfax report
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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