just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
