A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize