my vag is so smooth its legendary
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
