FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
