is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
