try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
