He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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