your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
