i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
