i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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