Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
