do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
