would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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