what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
sarcasm needs its own font
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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