dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize