is your mom at the bar?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
