I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize