I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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