don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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